I need some inconsistency

An amalgamation of content: the aim not to politicise, but exercise. I'll think aloud about politics, technology, current news, as well as being a gay boy and what that really entails.

Friday, July 02, 2004

I can't stop thinking of him

And I don't know what I can do. I thought going away, keeping clear and staying busy would do it, would drive him out of my head, but that doesn't work. I can't stop thinking about him, wondering what he's doing, how he's doing, who he's doing. Please not who he's doing...
Whenever I think of him I feel this sad face come across me and I can't look happy, can't even do the fake happy smile that one is obliged to wear. I can't stop

67 Comments:

At 8:46 pm, Blogger Hot Toddy said...

I could have written this entry myself. Last night I couldn't shut my mind of because I was thinking of my own "him". I wanted him beside me in bed. I wanted to listen to him breathe. I wondered if someone else shared his bed last night, and I wanted to cry from frustration that there is nothing I can do to win his heart.

I have not found anything that works yet either.

 
At 1:52 pm, Blogger Chris Tuttle said...

I think most of us have felt these described pains at one time or another... probably each for somewhat different reasons.

It's funny that I found this, and Hot Toddy's, post about this topic today though. Last night I spent dinner and a movie with my ex and his son. We've tried to remain friends, though it's obvious we both still love each other, which just makes things even more difficult--considering why we can't be together is not within my control. I also love his son more than ever and I'm fortunate that love is returned towards me.

But yet, we can't be together. It's painful at times to see the picture of everything I want--and at the same time everything I can't have.

Thought probably not the healthiest of choices, I've learned to deal by focuses on the things I don't like about him. But hey, it's working... kinda.

 
At 3:48 am, Anonymous hopelessly in love said...

I have a him and it's driving me insane...I can't do homework, I can't stop talking about him, I have word vomit. I listen to music that reminds me of him, I'm jealous of his ex's, and I can't stop thinking about him- explaining why I am on this site, searching the internet for other love birds desperatley searching another place to vent.

Our situation: I am in college- in NY, he lives in NJ. End of story- granted it's much longer but that is not even the tip of the iceberg.

We talk EVERYDAY on the phone- and no I am not obsessed, neither is he- and today he hasn't called- granted he might just be busy at work- but I WANT TO TALK TO HIM. He told me I am his best friend and I didn't say it back and I think he's upset. But I know he's not, he's just trying to be a tough guy because he opened up to me. BTW- god bless you if you are reading this. I only called him once today b/c I don't want to seem obsessive, though I cannot stop thinking of him and when I'm gonna see him again! I'm writing poetry- in Italian, and everything I look at reminds me of him. Everything I hear reminds me of him. I cannot escape him. If you have ANY suggestions- (besides sleeping because I do that as much as I can so I don't think of him) then please, do tell. Granted I doubt anyone will ever read this, and I'll never check this again. I just don't wanna do work and I can't stop thinking about him so I sit at my computer, checking away messages listening to music and surfing the web for other people who 'can't stop thining of him.' well, there's definitley one thing i will say...I'd rather be crazed than lonely, though right now that's how I feel. O christ- I think I'm crazy. Alright, Italian homework. To all of you who are like me, or somewhat like me because I don't want you to thin you're crazy- tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all- at least we have something to lose.
love
hopelessly in love

 
At 10:30 pm, Blogger Patrick said...

I don't think we ever really get over this kind of thing. The pain goes, but the memories remain. Actually, I think that's best. You don't want to forget any of what's happened to you, your experiences, even if they lead to sadness. But knowing that they are good at the time makes remembering them later less painful.

I still miss him. But life goes on...

 
At 12:57 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The pain is so unbearable at times. He is all I think about this whole situation is consuming me I can't think of anything else. I Wish I had some advice to help you but there is no easy way out of it you have to fight everyday to keeep your sanity.

 
At 3:21 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was completely and totally convinced he was THE ONE. I had never had such strong feeling for anyone and he said the same. So now after a year and a hlf of a near perfect relationship, he suddenly needs his space. Saying "I can't give you what you deserve in a relationship right now" I'm devastated. I can't help but think of him and wonder why was i not enough. Why is it he can go on with his life so easily and I'm left heartbroken. It's not fair. Granted the breakup happened only 3 days ago, but I don't see how I will ever recover. I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. How can I deal with this pain?

 
At 11:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meditate. Everytime you think of him, visualize yourself carefree and okay with it all... meditate. Teach your mind how to be directed. This is primal-- it's from the same place where we realize as a little child that mommies and daddies don't live forever and you may have to be alone one day. You don't know yet that as you grow, you learn and gain the strength to stand alone... You see this person and he represents that safe place... but that place only exists within yourself. No one can give that to you. meditate. and remember that the qualities you see in him are actually ones that you possess in yourself being reflected back at you. Teach your mind to stop.
At least that's what I'm trying to do. = )

 
At 9:44 am, Anonymous Indianapolis Lover said...

Here’s my story:

I just moved across the country and left everything I knew and loved behind. I think it was a quest to find myself. However, along the way I found my Him otherwise known as Matt. He’s a co-worker of mine at an electronic store here in the city. I can’t remember when I first started to notice him but now he seems to be all I can notice. I look forward to work each day even though I might not sell anything and work 12 hours for nothing, just so I can joke with him, talk to him, let him tickle me as I slide by in the hallway. Everything would be perfect IF he didn’t have a girlfriend. I saw her for the first time today and actually seeing her face makes the entire situation more real to me. I’m devastated because I want him and can’t have him. I feel cheated because I want him to think of me in the same way but I’m not sure he can.

So, here’s where the big secret comes out. He invited me over to his house the other night out of the blue. I absolutely leapt at the chance. However, knowing he was in an involved relationship I knew that I couldn’t let anything happen because that would show that I didn’t mind cheating (which is a serious threat to any attempted serious relationship). So, I went over with every intention of leaving if the heat started to get the better of me. The first mistake, obviously, was going over. The second was sitting on the couch with him. The third, letting him tickle me and play with my hands. And the absolute WORST mistake was looking over at him when he was sitting on the kitchen table. His button up shirt was just begging to be removed and his posture and smile and the look in his eyes was more than I could take. He pulled me in using his hands and his legs and held me close. He tried to kiss me and I moved away but not out of his arms. I resisted for at least a good 10 minutes (give me some credit at least!). But next thing I knew we were upstairs in his room. Although nothing serious happened (I swear) just laying there beside him has gotten me addicted to his smell, the place he lives, his lips. I want to lay there in his bed night after night making love and then lay tangled up in each other’s arms, listening to the city outside his window. That’s what I’ve always wanted. I feel honored that I got it- at least for one night…but now I just want more. I feel bad because I was the woman he cheated on his girlfriend with (to some degree at least). I also wonder if I was the first/last? I want to believe what we have just couldn’t be helped…but…

My question is, should I feel bad because I got what I wanted at the expense of someone I don’t know? Shouldn’t he be the one at Karma’s mercy and not me? I have been the woman to get cheated on before and I know that it sucks…but you realized it wasn’t meant to be and move on. Grrr. I just hope I stop thinking about him and let him go back to her and be happy.
I’m going to try that to meditate from now one. That was actually great advice. Thanks :0)

 
At 9:38 am, Anonymous Babzuptown said...

The meditation suggestion is good. I'll try it. I don't want to focus on what I don't adore about him. And I think there is a chemical component. I think short of OCD, there is an addiction. The brain produces some powerful substances when I think of "him" and it's like searching for that elusive first high.

I will try the meditation

 
At 12:50 am, Anonymous Branny-annie said...

I have a "him". He is David. I can't get him out of my mind. I think about him while I am suposed to be working. It's like a mental illness. ;.) He too "can't give me what I need or deserve in a relationship". What does that mean? I am 35 years old, how come I have never felt this way for someone before? I have tried to move on because of what he said, but no one can compaire to my Daivd. Help me, I am a logical person and I feel like a train hit me.

 
At 6:16 pm, Anonymous luv struck! said...

I met him about a week ago when I went into his job for something. I flirted a while and gave him my number but didn't ask for his. Well, he called and we have talked or texted almost everyday. I can't stop thinking of him. I find myself very attracted to him, he's 5 years younger than me, but we have so much in common and I feel very comfortable talking to him. Already I had to resist the urge to kiss him when I saw him briefly yesterday. I want to take things slower (than usual) so that he understands this will not be just a sexual relationship (if it develops into a relationship at all). He has admitted to liking me too. I want to know what it feels like to be kissed by him, held by him ... its driving me crazy because I don't want to rush into anything, even our first kiss when it happens.

 
At 1:32 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

him what a name, and yet it seems so common to like, love, or constantly think about him. i to have one. and im trying to keep him from consuming my every thought and emotion. he wants nothing to do with me and won't give me the time of day. im trying to train myself to release a postive outlook of life in the tinyest of ways like, well atleast i have family, or even weird as it sounds imagining in my brain to hit him out give him the boot out of my mind or a large fly swatter smacking him out or my thoughts i know it sounds weired but after i while of suffering and all the pain it takes to stop thinking about him, i think we will stop thinking about him and all we will have is memories. and thats ok because and thomas paine said

 
At 1:33 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

" one the mind enlightend never again will it become dark'

 
At 3:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the guy i love is in love with one of my good friends. and what hurts me most is that, I really cannot take the fact that, he treats me nothing more than just a younger sister. he likes my friend, and probably loves her. and i'm too proud to cry or admit to anyone else that i love him. i love him so much so to the extent that i care for him. i'm concerned for him despite everything. he's the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. when the day he ask my friend out, i still have to put up a faked smile and say that i'm happy for them. deep down, i'm hurt. i am very hurt. i want to be with him; share his joy and sorrow and everything. be there for him. but, that's not the case. he dont need me there. i'm the loser, eventually. as i watch them walk down the aisle and i still have to put up a faked smile and pretend that everything is okay.

i want to move on in life, badly.

 
At 7:35 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss my "him" so much it hurts. We met while at work, it was a temporary position of a few weeks. After day 2, emotionally I was already his. I had never felt that kind of chemistry in my life before meeting him. We are currently both in relationships, and unhappy, to some extent. We both suck because the very last day of the job we gave in and got physical. There was no sex. But it was weeks of repressing the desire to just hold one another and hug, and kiss. I believe he was just in lust with me, and I guess that's ok, but I haven't seen him since and it hurts so much that sometimes I almost can't stop the tears. We've only spoken on the phone 3 times and sent a couple of texts since the last time we saw each other. I want to meet again, and I push away the guilt of cheating. I don't know how he is dealing with it. I don't send texts because I don't want to seem obsessed, but I am. He consumes my every thought and my soul. I don't love him, I just want to be with him. I don't know what is wrong with me. I wish it would stop, but at the same time suffering for love is such a sweet torture.

 
At 10:13 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This will sound sappy, but it works! Pray!!! yes! Pray for his happiness and success in life and the focus will be off your neediness. You will feel impowered by this selfless act. Pray for your own peace and emotional independence. Pining is pitiful and really not attractive. Next time don't waist your time by investing your body and soul without knowing what his long term intensions are. Too much to loose for those of us who want and value the real thing. If a man is willing to risk your health, future and reputation,..sorry..he dosn't love you. Next.....

 
At 12:30 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well here’s my story. I met him through a friend. Every one told me that when they saw him looking at me for the first time... They knew he liked me straight away. Even his best friend said ‘he looks at you like he’s in love with you’. even I saw it. And I’m normally oblivious to these things. I think it was love at first sight. Not that you fall in love the instant you see them… but you know they’re the person for you. thats how it was for me. Well anyway, I ended up getting scared because I’m scared of commitment so I ended it one night when he made me angry! We weren’t going out we were just ‘getting to know each other’. after that he was horrible to me. Which is understandable. Well anyway… I’ll try to keep the story short. I don’t want to stop thinking about him.. Even if its hurting me. Because what if one day I have the chance to be with him again. Because he tells me how much he’s missed me? I keep thinking that he feels the same way I do. He cant get me out of his head because I’m the girl he knows he was meant to be with. But the truth is really.. Why would he be thinking that. He got himself a new girlfriend 2 weeks after I ended it with him. I don’t think I’m in love with him, actually I don’t know because I’ve got nothing to compare it with. But this is the strongest feeling I’ve ever had for a single person on the planet. I’m never going to be able to forget him. I haven’t been able to eat for weeks.. I can now. But there’s always a cloud over me and I feel trapped. I’m so glad I’m not the only person that’s feeling like this.
By the way… even while he was with his girlfriend, I saw him looking at me when he thought I wouldn’t notice… then he carried on even when I was looking his way. And he looked so sad. But its still not as easy as telling him I like him still. Because he has told all my friends even if I wanted him back he wouldn’t have me. But he even wanted to come and see a band with me even though he knew it wud be just me him and one of my friends. Im so confused! Sorry once i get on the subject of him.. i cant shutup :(

 
At 3:09 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so therapeutic to read other people suffering with what can only be described as some sort of love addiction. One of you mentioned feeling as though a chemical is released in your brain when you think of him - I have no doubt that's what happens. Couple that with the very real pheromones from his body that you may have already encountered and there you have a very real drug addiction! Lol

My him, mmm, makes me feel like a female Humbert Humbert, such is the age gap, although he is 20, but still a little (or a lot) too young (Lol).

I met him at a party, we played music together - something that can bond strangers. We exchanged numbers but I didn't think too much about it. He was a bit too arrogant for my liking (actually I seem to be attracted to arrogance - it's a challenge to knock them off their self-made pedestals...)

Anyway, a few weeks later he came to my place for his first visit: a jam - a nice excuse; and he intimidated me with his forwardness - I hadn't really considered him in a sexual way until that point because he is so much younger than me.

"You know I'm not going to leave unless you make me." he said at one point.

"Oh, so it's like that, is it?" I replied as we move to the sofa. I was curled up at one end and he was inching closer. I was inching away in fact until I realised 'This boy wants me to touch him!'

"I could stay here tonight you know?" he piped

"Oh, no, I'm not going to sleep with you - you won't come back and play guitar for me if I do - I'll never hear from you again...haha" was my reply.

"Well, we don't have to sleep together - we could just cuddle, because, well, I've never done that before."

SHOCK! HORROR! Here in front of me was sitting a virgin playing with the possibility of getting intimate with me (definitely not a virgin).

It was clear I had to send him home.

He left, rejected, tail between his legs.


A few days later, however, I began to think of the possibility of helping him lose his virginity. He was 20 after all and there comes a point when I guess you get made fun of - an unfortunate part of our culture perhaps.

Anyway, I decided to text him and invite him to watch a DVD at a friend's place. He came immediately. We flirted a little and hugged as he left and that was it.

Two days later, same deal: another DVD at the friend's place (I guess I was doing it at the friend's place because it seemed a safer environment where the expectations would be milder considering we weren't alone.) This night however, we had a bit of a pillow fight on the sofa. I didn't watch all that much of the movie to be honest. I lay my head on his lap; he looked down at me; I ticked him; he held me in a head-lock; I moved slowly towards his lips, grinning, close enough for him to feel my breath, then I pulled away again. He smiled. We kissed. So nice. Then I took him back to my place and I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Anyway, 2 months of a fling and what turned out to be some of the most passionate sex sessions I;ve had to date (yes, I was pleasantly surprised!) and I'm in big trouble. I'm in trouble because I went and got feelings for him, didn't I... silly woman.

And he, being what he is - young and inexperienced - gives me mixed signals. Flirts with me, then rejects me. And it's just so frustrating!

But, believe it or not, this is not just about lust. He's actually one of the most interesting people I've met in years. He's very different for your average 20-year-old - trust me, I've known a few. Point is, he's too smart to get tangled up with an older woman whose biological clock is just beginning to tick.

"Oh, I've always known, I want kids" he once teased. Last time we went out he commented twice in one short evening about the "lovely family" (with 3 kids) and the "cute kids" walking down the street. Funny thing is, I don't even notice kids yet, so I was completely thrown by his comments. He was testing me, wasn't he?

Anyway, to cut short this story of a 2-month fling which stretched into a 6-month thing which started back up as 3 more casual outings as "just friends", I managed to scare him away again (subconsciously I think I did it on purpose because I was fed up pretending that I was able to be his friend). He got scared anyway, and wants us not to talk for a while since I revealed that I fantasize about him, which makes it hard for me to be just his friend... I lust after him big time now since the sex was so nice those few months back. I ended it when I realised I was developing feelings for him. We didn't talk for a month and then I started emailing him and he always responded so we were supposed to be working on a friendship. I always had an ulterior motive though - I wanted to touch him again. I wanted to run my nose across his beard again. (I never liked beards until I met his Lol).

Anyway, it's been a week since our final text message, just over a week since the phone call where I admitted I wanted to touch him, and about 3 weeks since I saw him last, and not a day has passed where I haven't thought about him.
He's just there in my consciousness. The strange thing is, you know when you get the feeling that the other person actually does care for you and is attracted to you? Well, despite him telling me the opposite, it just feels like he might feel something for me. Although that could just be my hopeful ego.

In any case, I may never hear from him again. Although that's what I thought after each night he spent here with me. I thought it would be the last, but it continued for a little bit. Then he ran away for a bit, then he came back round a few more times, now he's run away again...

I really should forget about him. Everyone says that. But he's just so special. And the fact that I can't have him right now just makes the thought of him taste SOOOO much sweeter! I guess if I don't hear from him in the next few months, I'll know it really is over for good this time. In the meantime, I lay back and think about him as I drift off to sleep. :) He's just so beautiful in my fantasy ;)

 
At 1:03 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...this some of the posts are a 4 years old...but I want to share about My "him" as well. I can't keep him out my mind ...I know i have an exam tomorrow..I have to study for. Met him about 1 years ago instant attractions but we both chose to look the other way now aobut 2 months ago..he asked me out...keeps telling me he can't stop thinking about me...I'm trying to keep it cool but he is distracting without even being around me..He says he misses me but doesn't call...I'm gonna be a stick it out and wait for him to call...I'll try to meditation and staying busy for now.

 
At 5:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love thinking about him. It depends how strong you are; for me, I'd keep an elastic band round my wrist and snap it whenever I think about him. It works, but is very painful.

 
At 3:39 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha.."him." I felt so many times like this and it always ends where it started..nowhere. I met him two weeks ago. He stared at me like there is no tomorrow. The entire time I was thinking "why? why me?" I turned around few times and there was noone else he was looking at but me. I thought wow. I was so attracted by the way he looked at me. I thought it was sexy. Suddenly, someone introduced us. That was a shock to both of us. We danced. He was showing me moves, etc. When the dance was over, I left briefly to get a drink. We were at a firm function so we knew a lot of oth people.I met some other people on the way and I hung out with them. He was looking at me but didn't apporach me again. I thought to myself "why? what's up with this" but being the female that I am,I got a huge crush on him and just can't forget about it. What is that all about. It's driving me crazy. I lead very hectic life and I don't want to think about him. I don't see him at all. I don't even know who he is. Oh god..I just want to forget about him so bad. I even went to a church to say a prayer in order to forget about him. Instead I searched online and I found out so much about him. I am even more attracted.Sh.. I can't stop thinking about him. I need help to forget this guy. I'll try the meditation and I hope it helps and rids me of this nonsense.

 
At 6:13 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This may seem a bit strange for some but i have to voice this. My him name is "Len". I met him through an internet dating site. The first time we spoke we just clicked. And before I knew it i was being wisked away to see him in his city. The weekend was perfect. It was like a dream. The problem is now I can't stop thinking about him. Every time my phone rings I hope it's him. We spoke once since I last saw him but I'm worried that I'll never hear from him again. I just want him out of my thoughts but I don't know how to stop. I'm not really one to call or e-mail men I just play the waiting game. But this is making me nuts. How do I stop thinking about him?

-R

 
At 2:08 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey guys,

Instead of dwelling on the negative i.e. all those horrible panicy feelings the ones where you wish you could feel better by having something that isn't easy to reach and have right now focus on whats real. The reality is you can make anything work, if you were in the right place i.e. nearer, if you said the right things, if you could win his heart! If you could make him feel 'the same' You can make anything possible! It's about believing and not giving up hope. It's about gaining self- control and empowereing yourself. All those amazing experiences happened not all because he was there, because you were there making them happen to and you are capable of even better things. Everyone knows there is nothing more attractive than someone who is happy in there own skin. Look how amazing and beautiful you are. Knowone makes you that amazing but you and you need to tell yourselves that. Enjoy you, every experience, you'll come out laughing because you know you will always have you. You should appreciate everything. It's not like you are ignoring your ex/bf. You can make then know you care but you can also let them know you are focusing on yourself. You are becoming a better, stronger interesting powerful individual. It takes guts but that is what men want and that is what you need to be. There is no such thing as magic. Be real and love every part.

 
At 9:28 am, Blogger tirisays said...

Ahhhh...I feel like I am dying a little on the inside! It took me months to even notice this boy, then bang, I realised how nice and creative and lovely he is and now I cannot get him out of my head!! I even dream about him!! Ah!! He has invited me out on numerous occasions, told me his friends like me, texts me nearly everyday...after work or on the weekends, about anything random... The other night he came and picked me up - drove me around to all the sights and took me to putt putt golf!! I cannot tell if he likes me, or is being a great 'friend'. Grrrr... I am too afraid to tell him I like him and I do not want to make work harder than it already is... I wish his heart stopped when I walked into the room like mine does when he wanders in...sigh.

 
At 11:04 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF. When whoever created the human race did do you think they bargained for the can of worms "human emotions" they were opening? I have been with my partner for 8 yrs. We've had our upsand downs but due ti him beingmilitary for most of it and me working away we dont argue much. The time we spend together is nice but I sometime feel I have sex for his benefit.(I'm Female) Im 25 and have never had arogasm with a man,not for want of trying! I know im not a lesbian, ive tried that route! Anyway, i am obsessed with the guy next door. I cant stop thinking about him. I thought maybe it was one of my slef confidence issues, i sometimes use men to boost my ego. But i dont think it is. Normally by now i would of done omething about it. So what's wrong with me? whY CANT I STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM?

 
At 1:31 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i share everything i have with him. i've given him all that he's asked for.but he's never there to comfort me. all of a sudden, he doesnt want me around anymore. i want to give up, but my heart and mind wont allow me.

 
At 11:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met my 'him' on a holiday. He worked on the island I was staying at. We spent basically 4 days straight together just having fun. Problem is, he has a girlfriend and she has now gone to the island to work with him. Back home, I can't stop thinking about him and him being with his girlfriend! It's not fair and I don't know what to do. I have never felt like this before and I mean it. It feel like we have known each other for years and we have so much in common. I miss spending time with him so much and wish there could be more. I'm going back to the island to visit friends up there including him and don't know whether to tell him how I feel or not...I just can't help but think if I don't say something that I'll regret it but I also don't know if I should because of the girlfriend. This is torture...

 
At 7:22 pm, Blogger Jewels said...

Wow... I am not alone after all... My story in short... Moved to another City to get away from a crowding Ex-fiancé. Wasn't planning on staying in that new City for more than a couple of years. Met someone unexpectedly and fell head over heels. I have some confidence issues though and despite my love for him and the sex being great, I cheated on him.

The whole thing blew up in my face and the following year and a half we're filled with getting over him, then trying to work things out, but not being able to trust me and then trying to deal with my own personnal issues.

Finally I cut all ties with him. I NEEDED to move on and be happy again. Four months later, I was moving back to my home town to be with friends and family.

I'm now with my best friend of ten years. We're perfect for each other, but there's something lacking. I saw my Ex again a couple months ago. He wishes I hadn't left. He can't stop thinking about me. He's tried to date but none of them are me. I find myself comparing my best friend with my Ex and it's driving me insane.

My Ex won't move here because his friends, family and dream job are where he is. I won't move back there because my friends, my family and everything else I love, are here.

I haven't had a goodnight sleep in almost two months because I can't shut my mind off...

 
At 9:18 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK.this looks like a good place to tell about my "him". I am in love with my best friend. And he lives on the other side of the country now..miles and miles away. We talk on the phone twice a week.(I know if we talk any more then that I would suffer even more then I am now) We tell each other I love you..we talk about the next time we will be able to hug each other. But we do not talk about what we are to each other.
Before he left we were like brother and sister..when he left we had not talked for a couple months. When we did..it felt different. It was like we were free to admit bigger feelings once we were miles and miles apart. We have both been burned too many times to count and are afraid of relationships. So anyway. I think about "him" all the time. I lay in bed at night after a late night convo with him and just can not sleep..I can feeling the love hormones pushing through and it almost hurts because he is not near. I want to talk to "him" more often but I am afraid that the more we talk, the more it will hurt. And I don't know EXACTLY how "he" feels...Huuumph.

 
At 6:42 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think about my him every day, every night before i fall asleep. Im not living near him anymore so i think about him more often. when i talk to him online, im overcome with happiness. when he has to leave then i feel as though i didnt talk to him long enough. i always have an urge to be closer to him, just to look into his eyes or to hear his voice. he says im his best friend, and i feel that he is mine too, but i feel more than that. He told me that he liked me too but then we went out and broke up. he told me a while after that, he didnt know why he broke up with me in the first place. then he was telling me that he didnt like me that way. He seems very confused to me. i think it has to do with his ex whom he told me he still loved even though he hasnt seen her in 6 yrs. I feel so bad about it. i dont know what to do.

 
At 9:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was always the one to make me feel comfortable and told me things that i never thought anyone would say to me. He said he loved everything about me and that i couldn't ever be more perfect to him. The beating started about 4 months after we were dating, he would hold his hands over my mouth and nose and pin me down with his knees on my arms and sit on top of me... When he would let me breath they were quick seconds of relief that never lasted long enough and the only thing I could think about right before I almost blacked out before he would let me have another gasp of air was what is my son going to do without me, what is he going to think of me for being with this man that did this to me so many times before and then to the point he killed me. I never thought the saying "my life flashed before my eyes" was true, I believe it now all I saw was my baby boys beautiful smiling face. I can not tell you how horrifying my relationship was because unless you have experienced something like it you wouldn't understand and I hope no one ever has to go through anything so devastating. He would open all the windows and doors in out trailer during a heated argument and yell at the top of his lungs " DONT HIT ME PLEASE PLEASE DONT HIT ME" so the neighbors would think I was doing something to him. He would jump at me with a full fist while i was holding my son and laugh if I flinched, he gave me a black eye, bruised my entire body in places people couldn't see so I wouldn't get questioned. I had to quit college because he sent me to school with bruises and I was so embarrassed. I lied to my family and friends and made everyone think he was getting better and that we never fought even if we had been fighting the entire night before. I always tried to protect him because if anyone knew then he would hurt me more. I haven't been okay for a while because of him and the things he did to me. Now I know he is out if my life and I hope he never comes back in to it again.

 
At 2:10 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am really starting to fall for this guy who I've met while teaching abroad. He is so funny, charming, and a little weird and quiet. But I tend to like quiet guys! We have been spending a lot of time together and he is my neighbor he also works about a minute away from his house. Sooooooo I think his proximity makes me think about him even more, and I've been crazed. I want to keep things cool, but I can't. And he has a girlfriend but he's been acting like he doesn't and he tells me he loves me. I've been sleepless for weeks because I'm thinking so much in him and waiting to see him.

 
At 3:39 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My him and I stopped talking and seeing each other almost a year ago. We weren't even in a relationship. He had a girlfriend and we were becoming best friends, in fact, we were best friends. We both ended up having an attraction to each other and for about two months he would cheat on his girlfriend and we would make-out. It didn't happen often. We were part of each other's lives everyday, whether it was school, video chat, chat, text...
Then, one day he told me he was in love with me, but that he couldn't be with me because he couldn't hurt me. After constant arguments I decided to stay away from him completely for about a couple weeks. We got back together, as friends, but that wasn't enough for him. He said he was in love with me again, told me he broke up with his girlfriend, got my hopes up and said he wanted to go out with me. That same day he said he couldn't do it. I actually forgave him for that, but after about a month it became unbearable as I noticed he was trying to distance himself away from me. I told him and deleted his number off of my phone and everything else that reminded me of him.
It's been almost a year and I still can't stop thinking about the bastard. Even when I don't, which is very rare, my subconscience at night always reminds me.

 
At 12:49 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find myself unable to stop thinking about him. He is much older but that doesn't matter to me, and he has a girlfriend. Yet the way he treats me leads me to believe that there is something there and I am unable to shake that feeling. I wish I could be with him and see him everyday. I'm too afraid to let him know of my feelings for fear that it will ruin our professional relationship and friendship, but I just can't get him out of my mind. I think he feels the same way judging by his actions. I wish it wasn't so complicated......

 
At 12:40 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm goin through this too.. but read this inspiring verbage... by Christian D. Larson

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!

 
At 3:14 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I fell in love with a guy that I knew would never feel the same way about, but I couldn't help it...Now I can't stop thinking about him and everything I do each day leads me to thinking about how much I miss him for one reason or another. I want to be able to move on and focus on other things in my life but no matter how I hard I try I'll never forget my love for him. I wish so much that it had turned out that he loved me as well because I never want to forget him even now that I know for sure that he does not have the same feelings for me. I feel lost and at the same time more alive than ever. I don't know what to do now other than to keep going.

 
At 2:06 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow all of these stories are beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. OK, here's my story.

My "Him" and I have known each other since we were born-he's only two weeks older than me. Our mom's used to be pretty good friends and we would go to the same playgroup. We went to different schools though and grew up, obviously no longer going to the playgroup.

I didn't see him for years. Then I got my first job, where, as it turned out, he too worked. Not too long after we became pretty good friends, hanging out after work and talking through the shift. And then one day I just looked at him and everything changed.

I've never ever felt this way about anybody and it hurts so much because I know that he definitely does not feel the same way about me, but loves me as a friend. I'm ok about staying his friend, but he's going away to University soon and I'll only get to see him every couple of months when he comes home for the holidays. I'm preparing myself for when he leaves but I know it's going to be one of the most painful things I will ever experience.

 
At 11:45 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh it is hard ur obssessed and try to hide it. you go to text him and delete it before you send it. you constantly look throught what photos u might possibly have of him. you lock old texts where he calls u sweetie or says what a great person u r and read them over and over. u bring up any subject just to talk to him.
i know how this is ive gone 5 years without a him and i was doing great. than all of a sudden we hire on extra help at work and it hits me like a semi. i love being around him. when kisses my hand, my cheek, dances with me just because, or when he hugs me. than oh he has a girlfriend. didn't make a difference though. he says she isnt great but he doesn't wanna leave her. im not dumb just on cloud 9 with him.
he got fired and i thought i would die. i cried so hard so long. now he hardly ever comes to see me and says we'll hang out but never says when. i invited him to a movie and he says we'll see. yeah right. i decided i cant do this. i can think of him all day til the cows come home but he wont give me a second thought today. so i took the first step. i got rid of the locked texts. can't read what isnt there right. i deleted his photos. cant remember his face if u don't see it right. i stopped thinking of him as a maybe one day it can happen. cant put him in my future if he doesnt wanna be there right. he texts me when he has nothing better to do and because he knows ill always text back. im worth more than that. now when he texts me i wait to text back and he says r u busy? r u with someone? it feels good sometimes to have him at least think that im not at his beck and call when he texts me. sometimes i fake it and say im hanging out with my friend matt when im not. it makes him think im getting over him and im moving on even if im not. doing something with my time helps a lot. i started walking down the trail with my ipod so that its not silent and my mind doesnt wander to him. instead i play music that has nothing to do with love or what couldve been and all that mushy stuff. than it will make u think of him. so i listen to rock and rap. i dont like rap but it isnt sweet music to make me think of him. this is more than 2 cents of my thoughts. more like 50 dollars but someone may need this. it felt better to write it down too. write it down guys somewhere like on here where it can help someone else. u feel just a bit closer to getting over it. good day my friends and my the journey get easier for u.

lost the love in texas

 
At 4:51 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fell and fell hard for a guy friend of mine. he never told me he was still in love with his ex, flirted with me constantly and i believed that he wanted me. Turns out he never did and was just wanting someone to keep him company till the gf returned home.
I feel used, hurt and the pain is just amazing.
I have reports to finish and exams to study for and all i want to do it talk to him, hear his voice, cuddle him and never let him go. Im trying so hard to hate him but the more i try to hate him the more i want him and its just a vicious circle.

 
At 3:55 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm in dire need of some medicine that allows me to never fall hard for someone. It pains me to think of him because for all I know, he could be with some other girl, holding her.

I just want to forget about having this..."feeling" for him because I don't know what love is and what it feels like when you share it with a 'lover'.

 
At 10:20 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met my "him" in 6th grade.I liked him since the first day I saw him.The only way I knew how to talk to him was to make fun of him-It kinda worked-Half way through 7th grade I stoped making fun of him & we slowly started to become friends,Passing notes in class to eachother.O e day my friends told him I liked him....All he said was "Ok".I was fine with it at the time.Then half way through 8th grade his sister(Feternal twins)told me they were moving to Vermont.I was so sad after that.But befor they moved my other friend had a birthday party & she envited him,his sister & his yunger brother.I got to spind alot of time with him.Everyone said that he was flirting with me.I was happy to hear it but I just couldn't baleave them.After a couple months of them being gone his sister texted me.She told me that one of the girls at there new school already liked him.His sister told him that the girl liked him & he said "Ew".After I herd that I was kinda happy.But ever since then I just can't get him out of my mind:(.It hurts that I only get to see him every summer(He comes down every summer because his dad is part of the school board & his dad doesn't live with them in Vermont)I miss him.....But what can you do?:(

 
At 8:24 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what can I say about him. Saw him perform 6 yrs ago, fell in love with his talent. Never had the guts to approach him. Never knew I would see him again, he lives in a another country. So many yrs later, I meet him and notice that he is interested, but I am married. We have become good friends, but I cannot stop thinking about him. I don't know what to do!!!!!!! Why did we meet after so long and have this amazing chemistry??

 
At 5:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Favorite Love Quote:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

 
At 6:02 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone please help me! I feel like I'm going insane! I met my 'him' abroad on holiday. I knew straight away he was a player, and to say I was shell-shocked when he asked for my number, would be a severe understatement! The sort of guy you always dream about, but never asks you out. Anyway, to cut a long story short, we met where he works, and we got chatting, next thing you know, he is asking me to exchange contact details with him. My face dropped! I was floating on cloud nine, as all the female members of my family were in love with this guy, and I never thought in a million years he would be interested in me! I had to leave suddenly, as we were about to exchange details, as I was with my brother and sister at the time. I saw him again, as he came to our house to deliver some materials, and he asked me again to come down and see him to get his details. I checked behind me to make sure he wasn't asking me sister, as she is usually the one who gets all the guys! I hesitated for a week, as I kept saying to my sister that there must be something more to this, as I couldn't believe he asked me. I kept saying those kind of guys don't ask me out. One because they're are so good looking, and they know it, and want to make sure you know it too. The other reason is because he has 'Player' written all over him. I was so flattered that he liked me, and was going to tell him that I wasn't interested as I had a feeling that he would break my heart, as I am usually pretty right when it comes to guys! If only I had listened to my first instinct! This guy told me he missed me, and he didn't want me to leave. He rang me when I returned back home, the next day to see if I arrived safely. A week later, after a couple of texts, and me telling how much I wished I had kissed him goodbye. I got a text back saying I got your text. No reaction to the card I had given him on the day I left telling how much I was going to miss him. I thought this was a bit weird for someone who was supposed to like me. So I fired 50million questions at him via text, asking about him. He replied by telling me that he had a girlfriend over there already, and that I should be aware of that if I was going to be welcomed into his 'world'. I texted him back telling him that he had broken my heart and it felt as though he had just ripped my heart out of my chest. A bit dramatic, but that's how it felt/feels! He responded by telling me that he wanted us to be 'friends first'. First before, what? I told him that I couldn't be his friend, as I liked him too much, and that he shouldn't contact me again, if he respected me as a friend, or otherwise. He kept on contacting me, and even told me that he would come to England to see me, if I didn't keep in contact. I was dying inside, I told him that there was nothing more that I wanted than for him to come to England, but still I couldn't be his friend, as it would hurt too much, as I wanted so much more. Anyway, I sent this really nasty text, saying that he just wanted to see me for sex, and did I look that easy and vulnerable. I told him that I wasn't working and my parents don't have money, and that he was just after me for either sex or money, or both. I couldn't handle the fact that he had a girlfriend, so I had to be cruel to be kind. He has not contacted me since. I can't stop thinking about him, it's driving me crazy! I just want to call him , be with him, hold him, and kiss him! Totally insane, as I barely knew the guy! There should be some sort tag around these guys necks so all girls can see them coming! Beware of the asshole who will break your heart, and drive you insane! My message to all of you is: Become a Nun! Or a Lesbian! Which ever is easier!

 
At 2:15 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ive been with "him" for awhile and we recently separated because he wants to get his priorities straight. He's starting college and he has alot of problems within his family and he says thats its the best for me and him. I believe that whole heartedly...I just cant handle it. I want to call him and text him but all I do is wait and wait and when someone calls my phone I get so excited and I look and its not him calling. Its my mom or somebody and then I just dnt wanna talk to anybody. I dont know what to do to get my mind off of him and waiting for him to come back. I miss him so much . I guess I need this de-tachment a little more than I thought I did. But Im finding it difficult when I cant do anything but think about the things we used to do and the conversations we had and omg i just cant handle it!

 
At 1:18 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

reading through these comments i think to myself how does anyone ever forget about that person you catch yourself day dreaming about, the 'one' or thats what you thought and i know everyone deals with the pain of it diffrently however i can see were all fustrated. ive come to the conclusion after 3 years of many rebounds and other 'stratergies' the only one that quarter worked was distraction if you busy yourself and dont give your mind as much time to think about him you'll find your thoughts of him dont go away but they visit alot less often

 
At 12:11 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay i need major advice. okay well theres this guy and he is the nicest guy in the world and i think im falling in love with him and i think he is falling in love with me. we went to a couple of parties and ended up cuddling together at night. the last party got out of hand and we kinda kissed. the only problem or the biggest problem is he's dating my best friend. of course she found out about it and has banned us from talking. but i miss him so much and i cant sleep at night and i miss him so much and cant even enjoy my days anymore without getting good morning texts or good night texts with little hearts. i was just wondering if anyone had any advice of what i should do.. ?

 
At 6:17 pm, Anonymous NJ said...

My 'Him' is still in love with his ex, who is also his baby mum which makes it a sticky situation.

The problem is we are attracted and care deeply for each other we have shared many good memories together, however he feels moving into a new relationship at the moment is too soon and will hurt the feelings of his ex.

I told him im not into the waiting game and im moving on.
Problem is its easier said than done.

I'm consumed with thoughts of him to the point of dreaming about him and wondering what he is up to and I know he is too because he calls everyday.

He needs to let me go...but a small part of me doesnt want him to let go...What am I to do?

All I can say is this..you are not alone sharing your pain helps. x

 
At 2:54 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love thinking about my "him" because it reminds me of how amazing he made me feel. Our moment together was sooo great! I have never felt a connection so pure like that before. Our time together was short but I never had to question the sincerity of it. Unfortunately life happens and now he's there, and I'm here, and there is nothing that can change that. Sadly, nobody knows this pain I feel, probably not even him...and no one ever will.

The last time I saw him was the worst. I saw him across a crowded room, knowing that he was moving to another country, and when his eyes found me he smiled so warm that I melted. I was so happy and smiled back eagerly, but just as quickly felt a shot of pain knowing this was going to be the last time I saw him. He knew I was upset because his smile changed, too. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. All I wanted to do was run over there...but I didn't and I left and cried all the way home.

UGH! I hate feeling like this, but it comforts me to know there are others that share my pain. Thanks for letting me get this out. Maybe this is what I needed to help me get over it.

 
At 12:56 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Hopelessly in Love, I read your comments, not only are you funny but what you say is very sweet and profound.

 
At 2:09 pm, Anonymous Vicky said...

I have a "him" who I can't stop thinking about. Purely by chance, without even looking to meet anyone else, I met my him. He was quiet, unobtrusive, unassuming. No one else was paying any attention to him but he struck me by how normal he was, how much he reminded me of myself, and... it's hard to explain but he wasn't gorgeous like some of the guys there, but somehow the realisation crept into my brain of how cute he was. I knew I had to meet him. Even though I completely fluffed it - stammered at him in my nervousness *facepalm* - I was so surprised, he explicitly told me that he wanted me to stay (my opening line had been something to the effect of I wasn't bothering him was I?), unexpectedly give me this dreamy smile, you know that fool in love smile, and it wiped everything I'd wanted to say clean out of my head. He even gave me some of his details, made it clear that he wanted me to know this. Even before I went up to him we had been stealing looks at each other and pretending we hadn't been looking. That was about 20 months ago. We're the same age and both single. I didn't fall in love with him straight away, it was only as I began to learn more about him, see how kind and sweet he was, how intelligent, how measured and calm he is... I almost fell in love with how ordinary he is - he makes me feel like an equal, he makes me feel calm amd comfortable in myself, and I began to really genuinely feel like "you know what? I could really settle down with this guy, I could really go for that, and I think I would be really happy".

The problem is he doesn't know, and I don't see him that often because he travels around a lot and sometimes I'm able to join him but lots of times I'm not, so I can't seem to build up enough of a link with him to become good friends and then maybe see where it goes. I can't just tell him outright because we don't know each other well enough for that and he'll think I'm weird for feeling this way about him when from his POV he doesn't know me that well. Although I've been in love several times before, each with unique and special people, I've never felt quite like this before. I've never had anyone make me feel quite so calm and happy in myself before, and I've never felt this strange feeling of how "ordinary" and "normal" can be so perfect and everything I want. With the encouragement of my friends I added him on FB, thinking that what with him travelling so much this would be a great way to talk more, build up our friendship and then once we knew each other better hopefully explore what's between us. Except he never accepted my request. I dunno if he rejected or just didn't deal with it, and I'm actually afraid to go back to his page to look. I have no idea why he didn't accept, whether he had perfectly understandable reasons, or if he doesn't like me and somehow I've been totally misreading all the signs he's been giving me. I can't ask him otherwise he'll know something's up if I make too much of a casual FB friend request. That whole thing was three months ago. Since that time I've felt so awful, like a pit at the bottom of my stomach has just dropped away. I'm sick with longing for him and aching with not having him, and now I haven't got the faintest idea how I can possibly proceed. I can't describe these feelings. It's consuming me.

I need advice. What on earth do I do?! How can I possibly build up closer links between us now? Does his non-acceptance mean he doesn't like me? What about the signals he's been giving me, I'm so confused now about whether they were real or I misread them... at the time he was sending them to me I felt so certain, they were so unmistakeable, but now I feel unsure and confused. Someone please help me!

 
At 11:46 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a "him" as well. We started dating 5 months ago and I think I'm falling go him. Hes my first thought in the morning, an last thought at night... So cliche, I know :[ anyway, I guess like a lot of people,I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way. I think he does, but I'm afraid to think that in case I'm wrong :( am I obsessed, or is this what it's like to be falling in love? I just wish I could read his thoughts

 
At 10:38 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow I don’t even know where to start. This has been driving me crazy for about year. I worked with this guy and we were just friends. Until one day (we sort of kept in touch by texting here and there in a blue move) I had a question for him, we ended up going back and forth. Let me first say I am married and so is he. Our texting turned in flirting and sexting (pictures, thoughts, you name it). We don’t live near each other. So we never hooked up. About a month ago we saw each other for the first time. He was near where I lived for work, so I met up with him. Prior to that we had always talked about meeting up. In the few weeks before we seen each other, our conversations were daily, all the time. We had sex the day we saw each other, but ever since then he has been very distant and barley emails me anymore? I am in love with him, he has told me the same thing, but has only said once to me after we slept together, but I said it first. I can’t stop thinking about him and I check my email all the time. We even created our own email just for him and I. About a year ago I was caught talking to him by my husband. We are still together, but things aren’t the same. I want to stop thinking about this guy, but I can’t. I would love to be with him. Even thought I know it is so not possible. Any advice would help. But one thing I forgot to mention was the fact that I do have ugly stretch marks on my stomach and I think it may have turned him off totally once he saw them. I really thought he was into me but I don’t want to accept the fact that I think he used me. We now email each other only once a day. It is hard to be sneaky around our spouses, but I would think he somewhat cares about me. I start thinking this and then an email is in my box and I get all happy. What’s wrong with me??

 
At 6:22 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met HIM through my roomate. He was everything i hoped for in a guy. Nice, sincere, cute, and funny. I felt this immense feeling the first time I saw him, but was too shy to approach him. The second time i saw him we got into a long conversation. I'm usually shy, but with him it was different. We started seeing each other, but everything changed when I told him I wanted something more than just a friendship. His only response was "take care." I felt heartbroken. Since that day I have not spoken to him. It has been about 2 months and I still think about him, constantly. My friend says it's because he's the one that got away, but I think it's more than that. I want to contact him and ask him why he chose this route, but i'm too afraid. I want to get him out of my mind, but i can't. I don't have the answer to how you can stop thinking about him, but occupy yourself with worthy activities. Good luck. :/

 
At 4:45 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate the rollercoaster of emotions one feels during this situation!! I met my "him" through my bestfriend. he inboxed me on Facebook a couple of weeks later and we chatted nicely. then he asked me for my number and he gave me his. we talked a few times over the phone,never everyday(he works during the day and studies at night so I'd like to think he's just very busy)-_- he asked me out so we went to the movies on a Saturday,two days later(Monday) we texted, just this Sunday he commented on my status and it's been almost two weeks since we've talked on the phone. I'm pissed cause i don't understand why he would lead me on. i hate boys sometimes.

 
At 1:38 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

not happening.

 
At 5:54 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I don't know if this blog is still going, but I figure after reading all the posts I will add my "him" to the mix. We had met by chance. The first time I saw him walking up to me I knew that he was the one I had been looking for. It was an instant bond. We would stay up talking, only to realize how late it had gotten because the sun was coming up. He kissed me like I was the last person he would ever kiss. He looked at me like there were no other people on earth. If we heard music playing he would wrap his arms around me and we would dance in the most random places. Unfortunately, he was from another country, and we were always having to separate. The long distance thing didn't work, but oddly enough we would find each other again and again (4 times to be exact, I may be a hopless romantic, but I like to think fate had a hand in some of that). But in the end we would lose contact with each other. The last time I saw him he told me that he had gotten married. He told me that he wanted me to know that he had not married her because he loved her, he had married to stay in the country. It was then that I noticed how different we was. He was not the happy laid-back guy that I had fallen in love with so many years before. He looked defeated. The only time I ever saw any light in eyes were when he was looking into mine. The fact that he was unhappy in his situation broke my heart even more. If he had married for love I would have done my best to be happy for him, but that was not the case. Making it worse for everyone. My last memory of him was looking back when I was leaving and seeing him watch me walk away. It was then that I knew there were 2 broken hearts that day. This was 5 years ago, and I still think about him. It's not constant, but more often than I'd like to admit. I recently went back to the place where we had met for the first time and it brought back all those old feelings. I just think there are some people who will come into your life and turn it upside down. You will probably never forget them (and you shouldn't). Keep the happy memories, but don't let them stop you from living your life to the fullest everyday. You never know what the future holds. Life's funny like that, you never know when it's going to knock you down, pick you up, or sweep you off your feet.

 
At 9:19 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No-one will probably read this and I'm okay with that, just need to get it off my chest.
'Him' is funny, intelligent, and not to mention absolutely gorgeous. We met through friends and became good friends instantly. We have the same interests, same sense of humor and I just feel happy when I'm around him. Everything was great, after a few months of seeing eachother, talking to eachother every day, meeting the family etc. we both confessed our feelings and established ourselves as more than friends.

So why am I sitting here obsessively thinking about him?
We haven't spoken for about 5 days, and I can't help thinking I've done something wrong. I'm trying so hard to stick it out and wait for him to contact me but I can't get this guy out of my mind! I know its probably me being silly and irrational, but I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and I miss him so much. I feel so vulnerable and pathetic in a way, never have I felt so deeply about someone. And it's driving me insane.
Love? Infatuation? Whatever it is I hate this feeling.

 
At 1:41 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

<a So I have a "him"..met him in college my freshmen year, he was a junior. At first i was not attracted to him, i didn't even notice him, but all of a sudden after mingling with him at a party i thought to myself "i think i kind of like him" he's quite the mysterious one, but when we got drunk together a couple of times, who showed a more sensitive side, which i loved. One time we hugged about 4 times before leaving a party and stared into eachother's eyes. I never told him how i felt, never admitted to him that i liked him except i cursed him out while i was drunk one time and kind of spilled the beans, a little. He was sort of a flirt, but idk, a part of me felt as if i could of had a chance with him but i never took that chance, and the other side of me just keeps saying "all he wanted to do was screw you" whatever point to my story is, I definitely knew this guy was attracted to me, his friend told me they spoke of me while they were in vacation. However, because i hold such a front i never wanted it to go anywhere though deep down inside i REALLY wanted to be with him. I really do miss this guy. In fact i don't know why but i really care about him. I always attempted to defend him when he was brought up in a conversation, and i always tried looking over his flaws. I know he was very sexually active, but he never disrespected me. He would stare at me, and i wouldn't even say hi to him at times and would completely ignore him instead, as if he weren't in the same room as i was in. That's how i act when i REALLY like someone. I'm so shy that it's stupid. if someone treated me the way i treated him i would so move on to the next one. Well he graduated already, and i'm happy i went to his graduation, but i am also so heartbroken. I've never felt this way over a guy, and i don't understand these feelings. I'm 21, never been in a relationship and I'm also a virgin. I've had crushes on guys before, but i've gotten over them. This one, pft, its as if i've been cursed. I think about him day and night and its not even like we did anything. We've only spoken and danced, that's about it.

 
At 1:41 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

CONTINUATION.......I really wish i could stop thinking about him. I also get jealous when i see him with other girls or on his fb, which i'm really considering deleting him, but i don't want to make it too obvious. I don't know what to do. I feel this depression come over me when i think about him. I get this urge to drink because only when i'm drunk am i able to flirt with other people and SORT OF stop thinking about him, even if for a moment, but its one of my happiest ones ever. I also try thinking about the bad shit i remember. One time we went to a bar together and a girl came in, introduced herself, and he left with her. They went to have sex. That hurt me so bad, i left about 10mins after and as soon as i got home, i got in the shower laid on the floor and started crying my eyes out as the water touched my skin. It was the only way no one would here me cry. Everything i am writing here, nobody knows. I'm pretty bottled up, but i'm big when it comes to pride. So i honestly at this point believe the best thing to do is to just tell him how i feel. I just want to let it out, even if he doesn't feel the same way, i know its out of my system and i don't have to wonder about "what if" anymore. I seriously want to move on, but i need to settle this with him once and for all. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Though i do fear that he does not feel the same way as i do, only because we don't even text or call or ANYTHING. There's obviously no sign of interest there. but i don't look for him either..like AT ALL. But i honestly feel this is the best thing to do. I will have to be drunk to do this, but i will attempt to do it sober. Sober state of mind is the best way to go. Don't know if anyone is going to read this but i apologize for it being so long. i just had to get this out of my system right now. It even inspired my, writing the resolution myself, to finally get this shit over with. Its really not fun at all. I can't even move on to anyone else because i always find myself comparing them to him. Good luck to all. And, well, ill come back to say what happened.

 
At 2:49 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just met him a week ago, and from day one i couldnt keep him out of my mind... As soon as i seen him i knew i had to try and make him mine, idk what came over me hes basically perfect in my eyes and i dont really know him very well yet. I eat breath sleep shower with him on my mind... When we first started talking something was going on in his life, he didnt say so i didnt push, but he moved and i have talked to him in about 3 days. I just wrote him a message asking if everything was ok and that its boring without someone to talk to. Well no reply and im freaking out thinking im being to forward and i dont want to run him off. IDK what to do with myself. I just want to smash my head into a wall and knock myself out so i dont have to think about it... Im hardly hanging on to my life as it was, his thoughts consume me... I hate it.

 
At 1:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had problem with my boyfriend which seperated us and i wanted him back in my life and did not know how to go about is. i never wanted to beg him, cause i know it was never going to bring him back. So i tried the use of spell and every thing went the way i wanted it.
agbalaxy@gmail.com is the email address of the spell caster who helped me get my boyfriend back...... kate

 
At 4:45 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. Ok I know this is weird but I met this guy on a site that we went on with my friends and we spoke on the phone for two hours and he was gorgeous, I cant even explain, but he lives SO far away. Now he hasn't called, I only have his house number and I dont know what to do. I cant stop thinking of him...

 
At 12:45 pm, Anonymous rita said...

Hello everyone I have just met with this priest of the Ishvara Temple and I finally find out that he is really a truthful spell caster and so powerful and he is the most powerful spell caster that I have ever met. I wish I have met him before. and my husband have just come back to me and every thing happened just the way he had said it I am so happy that I have met with him and now I have my husband back to my self. If you all that are here have not tried him you just have to do so and get your heart desires fulfilled. Stop been doubting I have tested him and I am now a fulfilled woman to my husband and we are so happy to be together once again. You can reach this spell caster if you need help at ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

 
At 10:47 am, Anonymous Benitto said...

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At 7:50 am, Blogger maria said...

I contacted Dr.muku of olokunspellcaster@gmail.com, because someone that I loved the most suddenly left me. I have always been the one that has been hurt. I knew that when I first met him, he was the one I have always been looking for. For some reason he's been holding on to the pain from a past relationship. Dr. muku of olokunspellcaster@gmail.com so far has been in contact with me every day and has decided that he will take my case. He told me that me and the guy was very well matched and she will help clear his mind from all the negativity. Thank you Dr. muku of olokunspellcaster@gmail.com Thank you for choosing my case. Thank you for giving me hope again. I'm looking forward for the spell to be casted and to be happy again. I have full faith in you and what you can do. Thank you.

 
At 2:31 am, Blogger maria hasbarger said...

Thanks to this great man of spirit called Dr Samura which I don't know how to thank him for the good work he has Don for me and family which I want to share my testimony with to you all so I was married to Hassan Moel and my name is Julie Deshields for six years now he left me with two kids with know reason which I don't know what to do so one day i was in my friends place when I exposed my pain to her about my depression which I have be looking for who to help me out of it then my friend called me closer to her self telling me on how she got this great man of spirit who helped her found her way to get her husband back then I ask of his contact she quickly go and get her computer and gave me his Email ID and his number so,that is how I contacted him for a help. And now am so happy with my family and with a happy home if you are in such pain kindly Via Email SAMURATELLERSPELL100@YAHOO.COM or call +2348103508204 have faith in him and he will help you Also you can visit him on his website http://samuratellerspell.webs.com/
Julie Deshields.

 

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