Bleached..

There's this guy.

I've never really had a real conversation with him, but he's hot, in that timid 'I don't know what I'm trying to say' kind of way. But he's hot.

And I want to have a real conversation with him, despite the fact that I've never done so; it's the goal that's important. Tonight I went to a straight club, with straight people, drinking (sometimes) straight drinks. He was there too, although I normally see him at the gay club, with gay people, drinking (always) gay drinks. We're gay, that's what we do.

Anyway, I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not overtaken, I'm not overcome, but I'm not in there, being obvious, being devious, being clear. It's seduction the way I'd want it to be done - the way that it's subtle, there all the time but not annoying, available but not desperate. I want to have fun but I want him to have fun seeing me have fun. I want to be watched but not persued. I want to have my cake and eat it.

"I want to have a laugh, but I want him to laugh with me."

That's all.
That's all!